Saturday, April 17, 2010


L: It's like having a baby bird on my head! And you can rub it!

This post could technically be labelled as 'things we say', 'things I think', 'things I overanalyse', or maybe just 'hyperactive sleep-deprived ramblings'. Think I'll just go with 'random'.

So. It turns out, I have a complicated relationship with my hair. Well, since my hair is only a few mm long, it's not so complicated right now, but it's anybody's bet where that goes from here. This is very likely an unwarranted piece of navel-gazing, but I feel like blathering about it, so there.

(Yes, I'm hiding behind my pillow, and yes, all my bedding is blue. Yes, I'm aware that blue is the favourite colour of depressed people. Your point?)

I didn't realise that shaving my head would enable me to examine my neuroses quite so effectively. I'd've done it years ago, except... well, I was to gutless to do it years ago, and I doubt I would've learnt much from it then, anyway. (Aw, L feels like she's gettin all growed up! Actually, that's a lie.)

Ahem. So. I started thinking about all of this when it was commented upon that perhaps shaving your head (especially when you are a person of the female persuasion) is not the most obvious way to go about being inconspicuous. This is apparently hilarious, since I loathe the thought of being noticeable - or indeed visible - in public. Since then, I've been thinking about this whole melange of stuff, including: why does it have to be so much more 'normal' to make a decision to alter your personal presentation for charity, than because you felt like it? Why does it have to be particularly weird for a girl to shave her head? Why must people assume that I'm broadcasting something about my status because of my hair? Why have I found it so bizarrely reassuring to realise that I can in fact tell when people are out-and-out staring at me? And why am I so much more worried about my Mum's reaction (when she finally sees it in person) than anybody else's?

It's anybody's guess. But these things are indeed occupying my brain-space. I'm finding it particularly interesting that shaving off my hair has enriched my life in so many random ways. It's cut down the resources I use - no more hair-washing showers or products, so the water shortage and my budget are both fans; no more agonizing over what to do with it, so more time and less image-consciousness, and a whole lot of interesting revelations about body image and public perception.

I have to admit that there was one downer - Empire Records lied to me. It is not that easy to shave your head.

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