Silver Linings

You ever get that feeling? You know, the one that makes you think you've hit the biggest obstacle in your life and you've got no inkling on how to tackle it? It's a lot like despair, if you had to give it a name. The deep, cold, dark despair that sucker punches you in the stomach with just thatuch extra oomph right after the silent numbness of shock has vacated your nervous system. All you can think is "Let it be before, take back this knowledge, this experience; let it be when everything was right".

We've all faced this, in some form or another, let's be honest, and if you haven't, you're either living lucky, not doing something right, or you've got it coming at you with extra extra oomph. It's the heartbreak of a breakup, the diagnosis of a incurable illness, the F you got on your math test, or the car accident you shouldn't have had. It's the decisions you've made, the path you've ended up on, by whatever means, fair or foul: if you're human, probably a bit of both. Whether it's a small thing or something that literally hold lives in the balance, the emotion is still there and one thing is universally true, irregardless of faith, ideology, class, or race: IT F***ING SUCKS. I totally dare anyone to disagree with me.

The question that really makes the difference though, is what you're going to do next. Sure, your gut's wrenched, eyes cried out of your skull, you've eaten a tub full of ice cream, ranted at someone, possibly written a really long letter (or hell, a blog entry maybe), set fire to photos, had a few too many drinks, etc. so forth and so on... That's great. Now what? In case  you hadn't noticed, that feeling is still there, and it's not going to go away on a hurry. You can't fix it by staying in the moment, can you? Or looking back longingly at yesterday thinking "Damn, they was an awesome day, I cans has plez?". It just won't fix that way. So what can you do? Look forward, when you can bare it, look ahead; think things through. Even the most horrid things give way somewhere; always a silver lining, if you choose to search for the right angle.

Optimism is rare enough to find in this world, but it's there alright, tucked away between cynicism and self-preservation. Sure, that thought killing pain won't go away, not right away, but it does help to remember that while time may not heal all wounds, if you'll let it, it will give you respite in form of a lighter perspective.

Just some thoughts from your friendly (sleepless) optimist.

ClearSkies~V    

Ah...Valentine's Day.

So. Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you're all snug 'n things with your partner of choice, be they male, female, virtual, furry, fluffy, blown up, near or far, a book, a cat, a dog, or a box of tissues and chocolates (or as it is in my case, a large bottle of vodka, a bottle of cranberry juice, and my computer).

I've been meaning to talk about this for a long time, but for some reason it just seemed silly and somewhat stupid to talk about that crazy lil thing called 'love' when, firstly, I don't claim to know a thing about it other than what goes on in my brain, and secondly, I figure it's different in all books. And then, hey, check out the date! Perfect excuse right? But before we begin, let me set the rules: I will not cry, I will not rant (much), I will attempt to be objective and general, and I will attempt to use as little profanity as I can. Provided you lot don't laugh or roll your eyes or cry, rant, rave, or judge. Also: I'm not the expert! I'm just being opinionated 'n stuff 'n things, so no one kill me. All happy? Awesome, let's rock...

I keep seeing people stuck in relationships they shouldn't be in, either at all or anymore, take your pick. I know people who shouldn't still be together, except somewhere down the line in the turns and twists of their relationship they forgot that they were allowed to choose their own way, and now they're stuck together for the rest of their lives (granted, at 70, I suppose you really have to want to get out). Humans are creatures of habits, we like things we know, we're scared of things we don't. So few of us take risks anymore, and those of us who do tend to be looked upon as 'crazy idiots who really should settle down'. The thing is, habits and patterns are all well and good, if they're good patterns and habits. If you're in a relationship right now where you respect and love your partner and get that respect and love back, where you're communication is brilliant and everything is shiny 'n happy etc etc etc, then by all means, stay in that pattern and that habit. People who end up sticking it out in relationships where the spark has flown, either need to rekindle (and no I don't know how, I'm just half ranting thoughts here) or need to break the cycle and move on. The trouble is, they don't, because they're in a pattern where they know the ins and outs, where they know the rules and they know how the game is played - even if they don't like that game.

Of course, it's easy for me to say all of that. They're only words for me, for people in the situation, they have to be actions and that's always harder than words.

I've always viewed Valentine's Day as a little bit of a 'silly' holiday, carrying the same weight like 'Teacher's Day' - that came out a little bitter, but the metaphor stands: Teacher's Day is great for people involved in it, bringing apples to the teacher or whatever the traditions are these days (did that make me sound old?). The same goes for good ole V-day: if you're in love, and you're with someone, YAYY!!! If you're not in love and (I suppose therefore) not with someone, then YAYY!! Just another day!! If you're in love but not with someone, then you're just f***ed, cept not literally, which would be part of the problem maybe. (Okay that was bad. Sorry, couldn't help it. BAD V! *finds L and gets  a slap on the wrist*).

(Side question...is quarter to 4 in the afternoon too early to start drinking?)

Of course, you could argue that Valentine's Day is primarily driven by the deliciously capitalist chocolate fabrication businesses, I mean this is their jackpot day right? Forget Halloween, forget Easter (though I would really like another chocolate orange, kthnxbai), and forget Christmas, Valentine's Day is where they really hit the spot. Why? Because people forget about it if they're not 'in the loop', and so they look at the calander and go 'Oh shit, Valentine's Day...should do something in case s/he thinks I forgot and don't love her/him! Where's the nearest chocolate store?'. Okay, so maybe that's a little cynical (*cough*unhealthycynicism*cough*)...and maybe I'm spending too much time thinking about it, but it is V-day...that kind of gives me perogative to think about it right?

Anyways, I hope I didn't spoil anyone's chocolate kisses, and those of you celebrating, celebrate away (safely, please, the world is already overpopulated, we'd like to avoid more accidents in the back of the car, kthnx). And those of you who can't wait to move onto the next chocolate season where you don't have to think about not being someone, it's okay, Easter's just around the corner and we can all celebrate Zombie-Jesus Day with extra chocolatey oranges 'n bunnies, if that's your thing.

Clear Skies~V